Want to really learn what sexual boundaries look like? Real BDSM porn games can show you.
Chances are, if you’re not a trained Dominatrix, or a vetted submissive, your entire understanding of what BDSM actually is, is probably flawed. Unfortunately for the masses, BDSM porn and its practitioners often get a pretty bad reputation. Becoming the butt of a poorly played joke, or a dangerous and abusive stereotype of what BDSM really looks like.
“While most real BDSM does involve a measure of physical pain or discomfort, the physical anguish is not what is truly being savored by either party. In fact, one could easily argue that true BDSM porn is more representative of mutual respect and satisfaction than any other genre of pornography.” Say the creators of Porndoe, a website that specializes in providing a near infinite number of different types of pornographic genres. “BDSM, whether you are engaging as the role of a dominant, a submissive, or a voyeur- all people involved are concerned about the needs of the other players, far more than they are concerned about their own.” These adult content aficionados say that BDSM porn games are actually representative of something that everyone should enjoy: sexual boundaries.
Understanding Sexuality
Sexuality is a hard thing to pin down. There are a myriad of different sexualities- nearly as individual as every person. Understanding what is “normal” and what is “abnormal” is something that is almost impossible to do. Particularly as sexually accepted pastimes and socially accepted morals and behavior have a great tendency to change drastically over time. Just like setting people on fire publicly was once a socially appropriate response to supposed witchcraft, forcing a menstruating woman to leave her entire village whilst bleeding, banging your first cousin was often arranged by your family, and wild orgies with many members of the same sex was a standard Tuesday- you can clearly see how our social morays have changed over the march of time.
While BDSM porn games can seem scary, if not downright immoral the first time you witness them, they can actually teach us all some very precious lessons about love, trust, boundaries, and the unnecessary ostrification of social paradigms. As humans, even of the modern persuasion, we are often uncomfortable with the unfamiliar. Perhaps even fearful. But if our past has taught us anything- it’s that learning about something that seems frightening is usually a good way to make it a whole lot less scary.
Why Boundaries Are Important
Boundaries, whether they be sexual, emotional, physical, or personal are incredibly important in our lives. They help to protect ourselves from harm and they set the basic structure for how we would like others to treat us. They can also help us learn how others wish to be treated. They can better enable us to fill our lives with the types of people that suit us best, which when living on a planet of nearly 8 billion people- you’re bound to meet some you don’t mesh with. And likewise, meet some who fit perfectly. This sort of tribalism isn’t harmful, instead it actually helps all of us lead our happiest lives possible and self-actuality our own needs and desires.
Sexual boundaries are just as important as any other type of boundary. They help to better define our sense of sensuality, and how we like to be treated when it comes to intimate acts of physicality. Creating healthy sexual boundaries can sometimes feel like a difficult thing- particularly as sexual fetishes or divergent practices are often stigmatized by society. However, fetishism isn’t actually all that deviant. Despite the way it is often treated- “abnormal” sexual acts and fantasy aren’t really all that abnormal.
How Real BDSM Can Help
In a word? Consent. Real BSDM hinges on consent. It also is a perfect representation of what known boundaries, and how to respect them, looks like. BDSM practitioners must consider the health and wellbeing of their partner over any other thing, even themselves. And likewise, they must trust that their partner is capable of doing the same for them. The only way this fine-tuned relationship is built is through conversation and consent.
Searching for free BDSM porn on the web is one thing, but finding real BDSM is quite another. Real BDSM will feature acts of what seem to some as torture, but to the trained eye, you can easily see where the sexual boundaries lie, and how they are respected. Through a series of verbal and non-verbal communication, practitioners are able to provide pleasure to their counterparts to the absolute limits of each other’s boundaries- but never a single step further. Which is something we could all stand to learn a bit more about.
Excellent article!